Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I am begging My Heavenly Father above to cure my mom

I woke up today sharply at 5am to find myself crying heaps into my pillow, after blogging last night I could not erase the helplessness I feel towards my mothers' health. Today at 10am she is to have a hernia repair surgery due to yet another consequence of kidney failure. Patients who have to remove and reinsert 1500 cc of liquid (peritoneal dialysis)from their peritoneum tend to get hernias due to constant pressure. I am overly concerned and terribly frightened, not because I think anything bad is going to happen, but more so because I wish this was not happening. I begged My Heavenly father to cure her, I begged and cried all at the same time for her not to be sick anymore. I was so heart broken that this is happening to my mother, why?! I cried myself back to sleep and reminded myself it was in his care I left my worries and my mother. My mother is a woman of great faith and I know that has sustained her through all of her tribulations of her health problems. I know she will always prevail, but it doesnt make it hurt any less.

I am sitting at lunch now having had my Healthy choice soup and some oyster crackers I kindly stole from somebodys' supply in the back office... OUCH they are terrible. My CALORIEKING is clocking them in at : a whopping- 121 calories for 1 0z. total fat 3.2 g. 1 ounce is like maybe 6 or 7- and obviously the sodium is off the charts at 304mg. Not worth it. Well thats my exciting entertainment for lunch today. I was rushed this a.m. and overpreocuppied with my mom that I did not follow my gut instinct last night to prepack my cooler for today as my usual custom.
My coworkers wondered how I can eat Tuna as breakfast today. Protein baby, i need it early.

What works for me may not work for you, but for the most part. I just practice logical thinking and balance when it comes for food. The most important thing I have learned is to eat a protein and complex carb at every meal. Starting with breakfast. Never skip breakfast. I start at 7am or earlier if possible and by 11am I have eating at least twice. Now my meals consists of small 100 to 150 calories bursts of energy as I describe it.

My breakfast is ussually a couple of nuts with oatmeal or grits and a chickfil a chicken breast, or egg white and veggie omelet. Snacks: tuna and fat free wheat thins(6 crackers)or a light and fit dannon smoothie 60 cal 3 sugars. lunch is a protein and complex carb in any form. then my afternoon snacks: piece of fruit, yogurt,or nuts. My treats: peppermint patty. 150 calories 2.5 grams of fat.

Most important rules I do not deviate from:
Never touch Coke or carbonated drinks. Never touch donuts or pastry products. They contain so much hydrogenated oils to keep the items- I even had to leave my beloved MONSTER LOW CARB. too much fake sugars.

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