Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I expect someone or something to bring me to reality to tell me strong and make me stronger again but I know it's only me I can fight this fight only I can change the experience
I haven't been able to pinpoint what makes me happy or makes me sad it's like the emotions have gone away lost
I feel lost I feel confused I feel utterly weak at times and then defiantly arrogant
I choose my path based on emotions I choose my emotions based on experiences. I relive my experiences with such detail that the agony and pain come back as if it was the first time it hurt.
I want to be alone I want to be left alone at the same time I want support I want friendship I want a companion and this rode the same when I took three years ago is not an easy one
That a blaring headache
I've had pains on my side all day about Larry and headache I can't get rid of and a guilty conscience that erodes my spirit
I'm at this again I hate first days I hate start overs I hate do overs but sometimes you have to do them whether you want to or not and it's mainly that you don't want to but you have to do it