Reminder of the blessings

Started my day with being thankful that I work so close to home. It facilitates finding extra tine to exercise, cook dinner, and having  the kids closeby. 

My lunch got to an even  LATER start today, but AGAIN I was determined not to miss my me time. Off I went again to mulberry. I hope that logging my walks and blogging about my experience once again motivates me to stay on a healthy path. I've been there before : FOCUSED AND DETERMINED. #fitbyfourth is just the beginning. 

Lunch.

Live intently

My lunch hour got to a late start but I was determined to get out to the park to walk and I did. I woke up this morning with such a different idea of what and how I should live my life. I finally understand the meaning of the words live intently that means you take every moment every day and determine what you're going to do don't let the day where the pressures or work for people determine how you're going to feel what you're going to do the schedule your day out and you accomplish a better that way. Started off by getting up a little bit earlier instead of the seventh snooze. I had prepared my lunch attire to walk outside and then also have my extra scrubs available.

I have only one hour the day that's completely secured as I'm not destined to do something about one hour is my lunch hour where patients leave out of the office and I'm available to go to lunch I have determined to make the best of that one hour now.

I will go to the park I am praying tomorrow to hitch my bike up to the back of my car and go down to Mulberry Park and start writing my bike at lunchtime. 

I will allot enough time to get back to the office and eat my lunch and obviously a change of clothes in the necessary stuff I need to do to be fresh for work.

Then with this new schedule I can determine that I do have time to exercise. I have always been drawn to nature to the outdoors because of the freedom that the outdoors gives you to clear your head your mind your heart. The outdoors has always been my healing point and going to the park and walking or doing whatever like riding bikes or just sitting down and observing nature has always giving me a sense of peace. 

So I'm going to take advantage schedule my day out appropriately make dinner at home and give my family the best. I have totally change my attitude towards work where I know it's a necessity but it's not the consumption of my day ,time,energy,spirit, motivation, and family life. I will learn to live intently every day and make it a purpose to live life with a new feeling of what is healthy, what is: intently living instead of just getting by and letting life consequences live my life for me.

Pumped. 

Panoramic view @ lunch

Second go round- this evening with kids

Evening panoramic 

I expect someone or something to bring me to reality to tell me strong and make me stronger again but I know it's only me I can fight this fight only I can change the experience

I haven't been able to pinpoint what makes me happy or makes me sad it's like the emotions have gone away lost

I feel lost I feel confused I feel utterly weak at times and then defiantly arrogant

I choose my path based on emotions I choose my emotions based on experiences. I relive my experiences with such detail that the agony and pain come back as if it was the first time it hurt.

I want to be alone I want to be left alone at the same time I want support I want friendship I want a companion and this rode the same when I took three years ago is not an easy one